Tenten's pie and everything afterwards
by Verily-Snuffles
Summary: Rated because Tenten swears a bit. What happens to Tenten's pie? Who really loves who anyway? What did Sakura get for her b'day? And who's that mysterious girl? Love and hate and tears and all that other stuff. PS... we really aren't being serious. FYI.
1. The Start

**Tenten's pie (and everything that happened after that)**

_AN: This story came about while I was pasting strange quotes from fanfics at my sister. She wrote back, and we kinda started tag-storying. And something very strange evolved. It's about a pie Tenten made when she was trying to cook in secret. And Sakura's birthday. And there's a Mary Sue, and a Mary Sam. And us trying to make up some really soppy love stories, and of course, randomness. It gets more and more complex as it goes along because MSN crashed and we started using word over the network._

_When it says switch, that means the authors are switched, since it is a tag story and all. It starts off with a quote from the middle of some fanfic I can't really remember so if you find it please tell me and don't sue! I think what happens is Tenten looks at Shikamaru who is unhappy because Neji and Kiba and some others are fighting over something or something. Hope you like it but I don't mind if you don't. R&R please!!!_

_Oh, and by the way, we weren't being that serious when we wrote this... enjoy! _

**Chapter 1: Pie and all (the strange start)**

Tenten looked into his eyes and realised it then... Shit! I think I'm in love with him.... Shikamaru meanwhile was getting all the more so-very-annoyed-because-i'm-being-made-to-be-doing-something-troublesome-cutting-into-my-cloud-watching-time and didn't hesitate to remind everyone. They said they didn't care. Tenten sighed. SHE cared. ((switch)) Though she knew he'd never return the feelings, and suddenly she felt a sudden wrongness in her life. Shit! She ran up to the oven and pulled a black pile of meant-to-be-pie-but-turned-into-charcoal-from-excessive-cooking charcoal. ((switch))

Tenten sighed again. Shit. This was meant to be for him. I mean, shit. What the hell is wrong with me? THIS was MEANT to be for Sakura's birthday. Now she burnt it. Thinking about Shikamaru. Ohh.... Shikamaru... he had just stepped into the middle of a fight and he knew it and it was going to get ugly. Or it would've. But this is Shikamaru. His bothersome face turned even more bothersome. "che..." ((switch))

Uh oh, Kiba just grabbed the black pile of meant-to-be-pie-but-turned-into-charcoal-from-excessive-cooking and chucked it at Neji... this was getting ugly. She winced as ((switch)) Neji scowled and took up a fighting stance. Kiba growled and held up his own claw-sporting hands menacingly, all of Tenten's hard work landing kind of lamely with a dull thump and a small puff of coal-dust on the ground. The boys could fight, she reminded herself although Neji's tempers seriously creeped her out... but, Shikamaru... ((switch)) no, he was something else... no one was so... LAZY! It pissed her off so much, she felt like taking her rage out on the poor oven sitting meekly at the side of the battlefield. Of course, it was really HER fault the pie was so... mutilated. Yes, sure she was a bad cook, but REALLY. Anyway, the fight was getting very ((switch)) tense, as Kiba and Neji stared daggers at each other (...an expression) and began circling slowly, planning their attacks no doubt. Tenten looked from them to the pie, and felt like crying. Fk. It had taken all night to find a recipe and to beg her mum to leave the oven outdoors out of the sight and smell of everyone in case something should go wrong. And rising at dawn to cart enough kitchen equipment to this secluded clearing outside the village to actually make a pie. And all morning just to get the stuff made. And three whole hours to bake. ....well, shit, maybe that was what went wrong BUT. She gathered herself. Her eyes watered slightly, but then she had an idea.

But just before she could make her move, Shikamaru did the unthinkable... leant down... and picked up her failed (but so full of effort!) attempt at cookery... and aimed... -she gasped- ((switch)) ...at her beloved! He didn't notice until it was too late. He was covered at strangely sticky black charcoaly mess. Oh shit, he was turning to her... and then his gaze fell upon the lazy piece of-- ANYWAY, the fight was progressing painfully slowly. They were still circling each other with kunai wedged in their hands threateningly. But as she was having her painful memories playing back in her head, her beloved had joined in the fight. The discarded pile in the corner looked sadder and sadder to her. Her eyes went blurry as she thought of how long she'd spent on it. Shit, she couldn't start crying now, her beloved couldn't notice! He'd think she was a wimp, crying over a pie. Well, maybe she was but that's NOT the point. The remains were sitting in a small pile, having being thrashed so much around the room. She vowed to successfully make one for his birthday, so he wouldn't start chucking it at people like everyone else. ((switch))

Because she, Tenten, was going to wow him with her fantastic cooking skills and somehow make him fall in love with her... shit, childish, isn't it? But, when it came to love it was like that. She dreamed one day she'd be a brilliant housewife to her dreamy-eyed darling and everyone for miles would be jealous. In fact they'd ask her to cook for them (kiba started... launching at Neji with a warcry of something along the lines of, "you GIRL!!") and she'd make something spectacularly bad because only her one true love could really taste her magnificent kitchenous splendour. In fact, it would be as bad, she decided, anger, resentment and self-pity welling up inside with a deep breath, as that miserable thing smushed into Shikamaru's hand. He looked at the fighters and smirked... that jerk. She hated HIM most of all.

She sidled over to the oven... to her carefully arranged and heavily worn kitchen utensils, neatly aligned on a large chopping board, and felt around behind her - while looking at the warring three with her best mask-of-save-me-terror face - and found, at last, her...

_AN: How'd you like it? There's more and more between each switch as it gets on, and the story actually starts to make sense a bit... R&R!!!_


	2. The End of the Pie

_AN: Here it starts making a little bit more sense. And thanks Moi, for the first review! I got as sick of the pie as you did. Still switching, but the bits are heaps longer. Eventually they get around to doing something sane. But I will miss the random ovens in the middle of the forest. Enjoy. R&R but you don't have to. In fact don't, see if we care._

**Chapter 2: The two authors are at odds (can you tell?)**

...Spork. The one thing she couldn't cook without. Who ever thought of a fork that was also a spoon was a genius. Seriously. Shit, she couldn't live without one. As she ran around tying her apron with the spork sideways held by her teeth, she scooted around worriedly watching the fight out of the side of her eyes. Her outdoor kitchen was getting rather messy; she decided to get the broom and sweep. Oh, how she hoped he would notice her cleanliness. She'd be surprised if he'd ever think of her in that way, but you'd never know. I mean, sure she looked like a panda, especially when anticipating something, but she wasn't the ugliest thing that'd ever been in Konoha. I mean, take a look at her team-mates, one's got an ugly greenish-teal scribble tattooed on his head and no pupils, while the other one's got seaweed eye-brows, circle eyes, and three annoying eyelashes at the bottom. And she wouldn't DARE getting started on his eyebrows.

She looked a bit like a pirate panda, spork in mouth, broom in hand sweeping the leaves out with dangerous precision. She also looked anticipating. ((switch))

So anticipating in fact... that her beloved looked over. And smiled. In between punches aimed at the other two. She gasped and dropped her broom. On Shikamaru. He tripped. He swore. Well, he stopped at the "f" and gave up after that. He landed on his face, splattering the rest of Tenten's ghastly cooking onto his (relatively) brand-new (relatively) shiny Chuunin jacket. He lay there for a few seconds (that slow dumbass..) and then got up slowly, dusting off his jacket. And none too soon... just then the raging fight - Neji bounded past with a dangerous glint in his eyes in that giant ninja gait everyone can just do just like that, Kiba fast on his heels quite literally. That is, biting onto his ankle, growling ferociously (and kind of cutely. Well, come on, puppy-cute!)

So there goes the rest of it, she sighed lamely, bending over (kicking Shikamaru, who'd managed to grab with his shadow thingy the end of Kiba and stop him - and Neji - in mid-bite, resulting in a LOT of noise and yelling and fighting in a big puffy dust cloud kind of thing) to inspect her would-be masterpiece. Shit. ((switch))

Suddenly Jiraiya came around the corner. Yes, a corner. Yes, a secluded part of Konoha. Yes, Jiraiya. Yes, came. Yes, around. Ye-- Right, well, you get the point... She scowled. She had no patience for the Pervert this time, so she rolled up her sleeves -Yes, sleeves- and got out the dustpan/brush! She went on a cleaning frenzy and cleaned up the messy sad remains of the to-be-masterpiece, and ran as fast as she could to the nearest bin. Yes, bin. She dumped the remains in ceremoniously. Yes, ceremoniously. She ran back to the fight only to see ((switch)) Jiraiya had joined in. He was holding Neji and Kiba apart by the collars. And Naruto under a shoe. WTF? How'd he get into this? Damn showoff... leaving Gai-sensei on the ground. He dusted himself off and grinned so fantastically Tenten caught a hint of a tooth sparkle in the afternoon gloom.

"Sorry, I was going to ask for directions... what are these youths flowering (...and so on) doing?"

And before Kiba or Naruto could bark an answer, Neji....

...started crying. He looked down at first. Then dropped a few tears in the hidden-behind-your-fringe shonenistic ((boyish, just incase you didn't know)) type of way. Then just out-and-out bawled. Everyone stared. He looked up at Naruto and Kiba but mainly Kiba, in between sobs glaring with the fiercest hate.

"...I'm..." a noisy, wet sniffle, "NOT A GIRL!!" He yelled hysterically. Jiraiya put the boys down and looked at Neji in worry.

"No, son, believe me, you aren't..."

Anyway, this is about Tenten, and she finished dusting, cleaning, and sporking... eventually she got their attention with a spork-ful of charcoal flicked in the vague direction.

"Anyway just WHY are you all here!"

_AN: So that's it for another chapter. Gee I wonder what happens to Tenten, she must have had a mental breakdown after she lost that pie... whatever, from now on it should at least follow some sort of order... as the authors stop arguing over what exactly Tenten should be up to. Well, almost. R&R! (or not...)_


	3. The Pie Goes Out and Crush Comes In

_AN: Hey, this is chapter three, hope you like it._

_RedLotusNin: Sorry, but this was pretyped and there's still lots more to go before we actually started uploading it. So, if you stay tuned, in a while you'll probably tell, but not any time soon cause, as you know, it was typed a while ago. So, I hope you enjoy it anyway._

_Tangerine-fever: Yeah, it was really funny when we started, and more random too..._

_Thanks reviewers_

**Chapter 3: The authors start agreeing more (well, almost, anyway)**

They frowned. Naruto decided to break the silence, "Yeah, why ARE we here?" A collective shrug.  
"Didn't Tenten ask us all here?" Lee asked, "she was making Sakura-chan a pie for her birthday... come to think of it, whe--" Lee broke off when he noticed the sad, regretful look on Tenten's face.

"Hey, Sakura, isn't your party meant to start soon?" Naruto looked at his –alright, so he might not have one, just use your imagination- -USE IT- watch as a pink/dark red blur shot past him followed, not so fast, by a light yellow/dark purple one. Neji cleaned off his tears like nothing had happened and Tenten took off her apron and put everything away in her outdoor kitchen. Oh well, it couldn't be helped, the event was over. ((switch))

"SO."

"....Soo." Naruto sat down kind of boredly. Neji cleared his throat and glared at everyone to make sure they KNEW never to bring this up ever again did they understand that and I'm sure they all did (not that it'll stop them muttering and giggling about it for months to come... but, you know. At least not when he's around.) Tenten sat town tentatively next to Gai-sensei. Gai-sensei sat and looked at the sky ponderously. Shikamaru mumbled something at his favorite hobby being taken up by someone else, got up, dusted off his behind and walked - well, strolled very slowly - off. That left Lee, and Kiba - busy scratching himself in that mad-leg way dogs do - to look for something to talk about in the very awkward silence.

Naruto was first to crack.

It took him about 30 seconds.

He eyeballed Kiba curiously as he scratched his hair with his foot. It looked fun. He tried it. He pulled a muscle and -  
"AEAOUUWWW!!" ....to silence.

Tenten cleared her throat, unamused. So, she thought, looking at everyone, they all know. My secret crush. Is Sakura. Ehem. She stood up, gave them the same let's-never-speak-of-this-again-look to everyone, and left. Walked off. Then, a few steps away, jogged. Then ran.

MISS her love's PARTY!! What was sheTHINKING!! No, no cake was worth this... and meanwhile, she thought, as she jogged back - the rest still kind of aimlessly thoughtlessly staring at each other - and picked up a nice sharp knife, she can't let Ino get away with being the only one to... ((switch))

Offer her one to cut the cake. Too bad it was kiss the nearest _boy_ if it came out dirty, oh well. She'd tried. Shit, she'd even taken out her spork to impress her. Anyway, she was almost at her house, and she would catch the party if she sprinted as fast as possible, so she did.

She skidded to a stop in front of the TV just as it started. The squeaky second starting rang through the room as a girl with auburn locks and emerald eyes pranced around the screen, much more energetically than the action figures of her propped up on every flat surface in the room. On the screen, the girl was walking into a room, blindfolded by her best-friend, a girl with purple hair and eyes. Suddenly the room erupted with shouts of 'happy birthday' as the blindfold was taken off.

Tenten didn't miss a second of her birthday after all. ((switch))

She sat down, captured (ahaha) by the drama unfolding on her screen. Yeah, Drama. She cuddled a plush toy of her most favoritest person of all as the emerald-eyed, brown-haired girl squealed something to the tune of "HOoee!" on-screen. But it wasn't long before her not-so-favorite-girl, Ino, was at the door muttering something about a party and boys and some strange new girl who had just become Chuunin from Leaf that they somehow all hadn't met (!!). Tenten muttered a non-commital reply to the tune of "I wouldn't miss Sakura-san's party for the WORLD!" and slammed the door in Ino's face as fast as she could, rushing back to the screen and, in the ad break, re-playing the part she'd just missed which was about 10 seconds long. While the Ads were on. She even drooled over the eyecatch, that's how in love she was with Sakura. She replaced her plush beside the photo of her REAL-LIFE beloved (didn't he look so dreamy... but no time for that! CCS is back on!!).

Meanwhile though... in the field outside Konoha.. it was getting dark.... and wasn't (THIS) Sakura's party on soon? Wasn't that what Naruto had said? He himself was kind of wondering about this now, as twilight set in. He was now using his other leg and could almost reach his blonde locks with his un-often-maintained-to-put-nicely toenails. Kiba looked at him like one would look at... well, a kid trying to scratch his head with his foot. For the last two hours. Everyone else had left. Sakura's party was coming. He got up. He prodded Naruto.

"Hey, Naruto." He said.

"HUWHA?" yelled he, falling out of his semi-yogaesque pose in a voluminous thud.

"Um... this is like lamer than Neji crying... can we go now?"

Naruto sat up slowly. He, like the many before him, got up, dusted himself off, and gave that kind of a look that meant nobody was to mention this strange occurrence ever again.

"....um..."

"I mean, Sakura's-"

"SAAaaakura-chaanitotallyforgotwhatamigonnagetherJiraiyaspentallmymoney-!!" Naruto said, and it sounded as confusing as it read, as he raced back into Konoha to dig up something present-worthy to his crush.

Kiba shook his head. Psh, crushes.

....HIS was BEYOND dorky presents.

_AN: How'd ya like it? It's not a cliffy this time. Review if ya wanna. Bye!_


	4. The Presents Enter

_AN: Hey, forth chappie, hope you like it, this one starts with me writing... so, don't sue me if it's bad._

**Chapter 4: Preparation**

Of course, anything Naruto COULD afford wasn't very good, and he was looking around the 2 dollar shop when suddenly a giant wad of cash fell right into his lap. Yes, giant. Yes, his lap. Ye—ANYWAY, he grabbed it and sprinted straight to the jewelry shop to look for something without realizing there were one too many pairs of eyes on him...

Tenten was crying slightly as the credits played on the screen. She wiped her tears away with Sakura-imprinted tissues, ready to eagerly wait for the next episode. She wondered if _he_ would mind her CCS obsession. Of course not, she thought, how could anyone NOT like kawaii little Sakura-chan!? Anyway, if he _didn't_, too bad. She'd give up even _him_ for her... Anyway, she decided to run back to the party, she _did_ need to give the _real_ Sakura the knife to cut the cake with, since her imagination kind of ran away with her before. Oh no, the present! She had originally planned to give her the pie, since she needed to be better at cooking at all, but so much for that dreaded incident. She detoured to the jewelry store to buy her a nice heart-shaped necklace, maybe. At least she didn't use Kiba's gay excuse. ((switch))

….oh, yeah. Money.

She ran back.

Back in her room, she dug in a drawer and counted a small wad of money notes that was her savings. $125, not bad... she detracted a safe amount for Sakura - what a nice name though! - and, putting on a light jacket, figured the had enough time to buy something before the party. Seeing as it's Friday night, all the stores are open a little later... even in sleepy old Konoha where Tsunade couldn't find ONE drinking joint. I mean, COME ON...

And, no, she didn't have Kiba's gay excuse. I mean, how many times can one guy get fleas in the same month?

Meanwhile, Naruto was elated at his cash - CASH!! - So much he hadn't seen in his life before - OMG CAASH!! - and danced around the jewelry shop a little over-excitedly. The ramen-lady, who happened to be there and trading in an anniversary gift she wasn't too fond of - haha, didn't know SHE was hitched, didja! - assured the store clerk this was normal behavior for this peculiar little ninja. Naruto happily announced to the clerk that he wanted a really, really, REALLY expensive silver necklace with a special jewel in the middle and that's just what he got.

"YEAH... Sakura-chan will LOVE me for this, she has to!" he announced to the world at large, marching out happily. Little did he know that that necklace....

He passed by the $2 store and gave it a triumphant snort.

"SO much for you, super-cheapo! I can afford better now for my super-duper-crush!" again, one too many eyes stared at him... because Kakashi was also there, coming out of a bookstore of suspicious character squeezed inconspicuously between a fruit stall and an old lady selling things made of seashells. But that's not all..

You see, Naruto was being watched... well after he left, though his voice was muffled by the window and doors and the mounds of junk, it was definitely clear WHEN he did leave. This specific street, that is. To the watcher, that is. Who was, as luck - well, okay, he - may have it, hiding AMONGST all this junk, piled high to the ceiling, actually among the rafters in the roof. His foot-hold, onto one very thin wooden beam, finally gave way and he tumbled to the floor with a thump.

"Oof!" the masked - you read right, masked ! - avenger couldn't help uttering as he landed. A few things fell and made an awful racket. He didn't care for the time being, even though he was a ninja and meant to be quiet and all that stuff. Neither did the store clerk. In fact the store clerk hadn't moved ever since he'd come in a few hours ago, at sunset, expecting his orange-jacketed love - Naruto, that is - to come and buy HIS beloved Sakura-chan a present for her party. That's why he hid... to drop money to this kid and make him happy. Sad, isn't it?

Well, now HE had to get to Sakura's party. No, you guessed it, he isn't the kind of guy that's into long paragraphs of daydreaming about how they first met them and their golden blah blahs and so on. You'd probably be pretty disappointed if they were courting you, really. Unless you're into being spied on. Or, whatever.

He got up, was about to apologise to the clerk - but noticed they hadn't even blinked as he came out of the mess he'd made of the shelves. In fact.... they hadn't actually blinked. At all. I mean, for real.

He backed away a little freaked out. The clerk stared into mid-air. Trying not to think about how dry their eyeballs would be, the masked ninja-fellow rushed outside.

....damn. He needed a present too, right?

Well, that's how unorganised 14-year-olds are.

He came back. He looked at the clerk. He picked up some random piece of something and, thoroughly freaked out, left without paying.

Meanwhile... indeed an extra PAIR of eyes WAS watching the action. That pair moved. The head attached to it, anyway. Because of the neck that was attached to it. Because of... you know. Anyway, they were on the rooftop. They were spying on THIS person. Because they were in love with their outrageous hairdo that made no physical sense. But they didn't know it yet. Right now they had a party to get to.... ((switch))

And they couldn't be late, that'd ruin their reputation... even though no-one they know knows they're there...

Meanwhile, Sakura, not aware of all the possible admirers, was blissfully putting up decorations all over her garden, where the party would take place. There were pretty traditional open-top lanterns set well away from trees as a fire-hazard, and ornamental rocks set strategically. She was out on a patio-type outdoor dining area under cover of trees.

The doorbell rang. Sakura dropped the current balloon she was tying to a tree and bounced quickly to the door, opening it.

"Hey, Sakura, happy birthday, I hope you like it, it was sort of last-minute, I hope I'm not late" giggled Tenten. Yes, giggled. Yes, Tenten. She somehow, magically, innovatively, energetically, imaginatively, constructively, spiritually, physically, psychologically and grammatically had gotten there before everyone else. Yes, magically. Yes, inno—Okay, on with it... Tenten handed Sakura a flat longish present wrapped in white paper with a pale pink cherry blossom design and a deep mauve bow. Sakura led her to the garden, and since she was early, she helped decorating while Sakura lay the present next to a navy-with-pale-blue-ribbon-present on the table set aside for them.

Naruto was excited. Naruto was _very_ excited. He was gibbering and giggling, muttering incoherently as well. He had gotten his crush the best present ever, he bet no-one else would think of buying her jewelry! He looked at the invitation clutched in his shaking-with-excitement hand. The sleepover would start at 7:30 pm and end at 10:00 am. Her parents were out for the weekend so they could catch some shut-eye, which wasn't possible while Sakura and her friends were in control of the house. Especially on her birthday.

Mrs Haruno was outside the lodge, skiing down a slope. Mr Haruno was still a beginner, so he was learning while she pondered about how her daughter would cope without her. She knew that she had a secret crush on a boy around her age, but she wasn't sure which. Mrs Haruno wasn't sure she could trust her daughter with the house all by herself. Sure she had friends around, but she heard she'd invited 14 people over. They were all sleeping in the gigantic living-room the Harunos were famous for. She knew they were all around her age, so she thought it'd be alright. The kids were law-abiding, and wouldn't get upto anything... illegal. She trusted them.

Oh how wrong she was.

"I never's a good one, I played it last year." Tenten suggested to the brain-straining Sakura sitting on her futon thinking up the night's entertainment since the movie was cancelled, and the only other thing organized was pizza.

"How's it go?" Ino asked, curious.

"Oh, it's a drinking game," Tenten began, "and I've got drinks," she added mischievously.

"Ooh, go on," Sakura said, intrigued.

"Well, say I was going first. I say something I've never done, ie; kiss a dog, and whoever has, takes a drink."

"Cool, that's definitely in." Ino said as Sakura scrawled it down neatly.

_AN: Hoped you like it. If you wanna say anything, review!_


	5. The Party Begins

_AN: Woah, already chapter 5, this is going fast, but this is still old stuff from before I updated. So, hope you like it (starts with my sister)_

**Chapter 5: Party Time (well, for most people)**

Tenten was never super-best friends with Sakura. In fact at first, when she first came in she felt kind of wrong being in Sakura's house first. I mean, Ino was her childhood friend and stuff and they didn't like.... SEEM right. But Sakura was actually okay and didn't take Tenten to be a person devout of personality just because she acted polite and predictable around people. Nobody thought she swore, either, did they? Fuck them, that's right.

And so, the girls sat, cozy in the VERY roomy Haruno family room - they have one of those traditional houses, see, where a lot of rooms are marked off by removable screens. Which have been removed. MMmm. They giggled and came up with a few other games. Truth or dare and all that. They probably found it pretty surprising that Tenten would suggest drinks. But, she did. There you go, girls, she thought triumphantly.... not the girl you thought you knew, am I? Well, she would have. She kept getting the image of Shikamaru with things up his nose. That she'd shoved there. That really, really, REALLY hurt. They were big. It was kind of distracting.

Little did she know she was just about as ordinary and boring as every other teenager that's ever come up with bringing drinks to a party to look cool. But, back to the story.

So, a little later and the door knocked again. Hinata. And then again. The girls, at the height of their giggly-omginess-let's-have-a-makeover-before-the-boys-come, opened the door to Temari. She was heavily-laden with luggage and staying with Sakura for the week, seeing as she didn't live anywhere nearby or anything. And Sakura's parents reckoned whatever these kids were like as ninjas it wouldn't be RIGHT for two boys staying at a girl's house, regardless. They were staying with other people. In fact, regardless of the gender of the child nobody really wanted the other two sand people staying at their houses. Because, well... LOOK at them.... so they were staying with someone where this wasn't going to be a problem. They stayed at Sasuke's.

That is, theoretically, anyway. Because Sasuke lived where the Uchiha's used to live. In fact there was more than just a room that was his. In fact, there was more than a floor, or even a house. In fact, there were SEVERAL houses that were Sasuke's. A whole street, even. And then some. Basically Sasuke could do what he liked with the place. He had to fight not to have any parties thrown in his residence, in fact... because people KNEW he didn't have family. I mean, sad and all but, there was a whole STREET. Come on. He would've loved to have Sakura's party at his house(s) any day of the week honestly, if only it wasn't for the ROOM...

He didn't want them to find HIS room...

his REAL room... he had fake ones set up around the place....

his REAL room was a shrine.

To Sasuke's one item of worship.

To his one true love.

Etc etc.

But he wasn't the romantic type, so it was really kind of dull. Really there was only just one photo. A small one. Passport-size.

But, you know, it's the THOUGHT that counts.

Sasuke was also not there when the sands arrived. He was busy wrapping his present as he walked. Or the ninja equivalent. Which involved a lot more rooftops. He landed on Kakashi once, but in his hurry could only retrieve his present for Sakura from his surprised teacher. He finished the wrapping haphazardly just in time to arrive.

He took a deep breath, and waited for his blood pressure to come down again - the semi-flying really takes the wind out of you - before knocking. He combed his fringe a little with his fingers and flicked it around a bit for the best effect. He checked his oddball tail-end of hair was still standing up. He made sure his proper-full-ninja-gear-with-facemask-and-all was put away deep in his overnight bag.

Sakura opened the door. She smiled and giggled her head off. Oh-my-gawd-he's-so-cute-in-the-night-light... she thought just as fast as all that, getting instantly flushed and all embarrassed. She forgot her face was still covered in facial stuff.

Sasuke stared.

Sasuke coughed.

Sasuke handed the present over.

Sasuke walked inside.

Sasuke saw the other girls, faces all caked in brown mud stuff. Sasuke stared. Sasuke coughed.

"....so I guess I'm early."

And then Naruto came in HIS OWN super-leaps and landed square on Sasuke. And his present flew into Sakura's hands. And both boys lay there kind of awkwardly, Naruto muttering something like "SFCHHNNHPBBYYY!!" through Sasuke's hair.

Little did they both forget that neither of them had put any cards or anything on and could identify whose present was whose... ...(...okay, whatever, you get it). ((switch))

To make matters, worse, Neji tripped over the lump that was Naruto and Sasuke and then broke down, still touchy from the event earlier that day. Just as everyone was getting untangled, Kiba barreled through the door, or what was left of it after Neji's hissy fit, and crashed into a pile with Sasuke and Naruto. Hinata peeped in quietly and Shino stood... well, however the guy stands...

The pile on the table grew as the crowd got bigger. Once they were almost all there, and the girls had finished doing whatever they were doing with the brown mud stuff and had washed it off, they settled outside and started eating. The doorbell rang as the last two guests were waiting at the door. Sakura bounced to the door (freshly re-attached) and opened it to see a moody red-headed insomniac with no eyebrows and his elder brother in the usual bear-like suit and purple war paint. Gaara had surprisingly gotten her a present, which she didn't expect to be all that normal, and same with Kankuro. She led them to the garden and showed them their seats, as she sat at the head.

Sakura was looking around and saw her secreter-than-Sasuke-crush someone around the other end of the table, next to a sand-nin. Tenten and Ino, who were sitting next to eachother next to the head of the table hurried off to the kitchen as Hinata cleared some space in front of Sakura. Tenten came in with the huge –made for 15 people, come on, use your imagination- -USE IT- cake, and lay it in front of Sakura, the candles flickering in the slight breeze.

_AN: Unbelievable, only one switch! Anyway, this is nearing the end of the old stuff, so your reviews will soon be accounted for, hopefully!_


	6. The Candles Go Out

_AN: Wow, last chapter of the old stuff, and there's no switches cause it's all by my sister. Hope you like it!_

**Chapter 6: Food n' Flees**

Sakura giggled - this was too good to be true! A big happy birthday party full of everyone - but wait! She looked around. Wait, this wasn't the GUESTLIST, was it? She frowned. "Wait, hold on a second..." she said quickly, rushing off up the stairs and to her (markably smaller) room. She checked the guestlist... no, there was one more! She came back down just as the doorbell rang, and didn't stop by the group, who was busy talking. Ino put on some music. And at the door.... this beautiful creature, with long blonde hair with streaks of brown and blue. Her eyes were sharp and clear blue... like mountains... or something..... anyway, she looked good. Damn good. Sakura was jealous. Was THIS really the ninja-nobody-really-knew-about? She let the girl in with a "well, better late than never," and an awkward giggle.

The girl introduced herself... "Amalalalia". What a beautiful name.... you could almost sing it...

But aside from her beautiful, perfect body - because Sakura checks these things out, duh - stood out to Sakura a necklace. On a sparkling silver chain that ought not be sparkling, just like the girl's hair ought not to be... in the middle of it was a big shiny jewel. Kind of a green-blue-red-orange-cream colour. It glowed mysteriously. Sakura grinned. This was it. The perfect birthday. Someone Naruto surely couldn't resist....

Back in the livingroom, everyone was unsurprisingly entranced by the girl. Even if her hair didn't sparkle like it did outside.

And why did it sparkle? Well.. because, as it happened to be the same reason Sasuke's fringe looked so damn good in the night-light, which wasn't there because the moon wasn't up yet... there was a ninja. That's right, a NINJA. A kid ninja. ...(gasp!). A boy. An Uchiha. And he wasn't invited. And he wasn't happy. That doesn't explain why he was shining a torch at the doorway all evening.

But it does explain why he plotted evil things as he watched the party from a tree branch and through the window.

Sakura blew out her candles - "Happy 15th!" - and everyone clapped and ate. Dinner came in the form of a takeaway boy. He delivered some ramen. He was the ramen-lady's husband. They weren't talking, because the ramen-lady had returned the present and now he was upset and she was busily explaining how it was the THOUGHT that counts and she could just pick out something she liked better and wasn't that good but it was too late he was offended now and. So. He got some food, enough for a party of 20, and hurried out and pretended to deliver it. Luckily he happened upon Sakura's, because there WAS a party and that. So, luck on all part, he delivered the food and took off to find the Konoha pub. Let's all count the hours it takes the 100 all-his-life local to find the LOCAL while the story continues...

Meanwhile, anyway, eating got under way. Amalalalia brushed her long, sparkly hair - that looked kind of grayish in the indoor lights, actually, without the torchlight - back with a flick. Then she spotted Neji.... Neji dabbed tear-reddened cheeks with a clean white hanky, after that strange outburst, a few of the Konoha girls checking the inexplicably emotionally unstable Genin was okay now largely because it'd just look bad if there was a big scene. Neji's hair..... Amalalalia was entranced by the length and blackness of it... flicking everywhere as he got up and, evidently, had trouble keeping his balance. Amalalalia moved to say "Hi".. but Gaara was there first. Offering Neji a hand up. Neji was thankful and asked to be excused. Ino said no. Neji looked dejected and munched on cake a little. Hinata asked him if he was really okay. Now when Hinata starts asking you if you're okay, like cry-wise, you're in deep. If you're a guy... well, I have mercy on you. Nobody lives that down.

Neji was furious deep inside. He couldn't tell them all why he was crying... but, you know, once he got started it just didn't end! It's terrible... with a terrible past you have so much welled up inside and... well, he IS the type to drag on paragraphs, but we'll spare you today. He finished his slice of cake and decided he would be determined to make Sasuke cry. Because Sasuke had issues too. And Sasuke was younger. And Sasuke was even more high-and-mighty than Neji, even IF his hair would never rival Neji's flowing locks. Laugh now, he thought furiously, as Sasuke laughed as Naruto explained how he sprained the muscle of his inner thigh to Ino, who obviously didn't want to hear even the start of the story. She was looking at him like he had fleas.

Lucky me, thought Kiba, she doesn't know about MINE....

And so the night continued.

_AN: That's it for the old stuff, everything after this is post-upload stuff. Review if you will._


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